The "Alien" Phase
For a long time, I felt like an alien.
I’m naturally reserved. I’m not the loudest person in the room, and for years,...
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This hit close to home. I’m a reserved person by nature, and for a long time I avoided building an online presence because sharing my learning felt intimidating.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to change that and start documenting my journey into data engineering, not to be loud or to show off, but to be honest about what I’m learning and where and how I’m growing. Reading this really validates that choice.
I love the idea that you don’t need to change who you are, just where you’re speaking. Dev.to really does feel like a place where curiosity and depth are valued. Thanks for putting this into words.
I am so glad you also found the courage to share what you are learning ! Being a part of this community just makes you know you're not 'weird', and you meet a lot of people who are just like you ❤️:)
This most definitely is a great way to explain this! 💗 I have always felt like an outsider even though I get along with most people I just can't seem to get involved with what most people are doing. I'm getting old and my party days are over and my girls are out on their own so I've pretty much just been by myself for many years after I got out of treatment for a very awful addiction to fentanyl and oxy. I've just really struggled to find something I really enjoy doing. I never thought it would involve tech stuff although I used to hook up car stereos and I loved it. Anyways, thank you for the awesome post! 🌹
To come out the other side of an addiction like that is massive. It takes a kind of grit that most people don't have. You should be incredibly proud of where you’re standing right now! Glad you could also relate Mulisha, you’ll do great!!❤️
I really appreciate you saying that. I haven't heard that from many people. I think they assume it's like stopping Tylenol and it's no big deal, but it was incredibly hard and very painful physically and emotionally. I'm pretty grateful for being sane after all of it. 😂 Thank you!
exactly, you're welcome :)
The modern world made normal people go back to their own "caves" and preffer the calm there - compared to the craziness of the crowds outside.
Luckily our modern caves allow us to communicate with othere "cavemen" and to form our own virtual tribes.
Looks like you've found yours.
Welcome!
definitely found my tribe. Thanks Plamen!
Encouraging****
I've been there, feeling like I'm observing from the outside in social situations. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and share our experiences, and it sounds like you've done just that on Dev.to.
I can almost hear the exhaustion and uncertainty in your words when you talked about feeling like an alien in a world that wasn't quite yours. But your voice, your writing, your vulnerability, they're a lifeline to so many of us who've been there too. It's beautiful to see how far you've come.
Thank you Aryan, it’s warm to know there are people out there who feel like this too!
Finally, a post that puts words to exactly how I feel! I’m a beginner tinkerer and introvert who just started writing here for the same reasons.
I’m the quiet tinkerer type too. introvert, obsessed with how things work, more interested in the tech love different gadgets than surface-level trends.
I started writing on Dev.to for a similar reason. I’m a beginner, learning across different layers of tech, tearing things apart just because I’m curious and writing is the only place where that curiosity actually feels welcomed.
Can't wait to read about your experience at the in-person events as a fellow introvert
I also cannot wait to see what you’ll be writing about, Aman☺️
Thanks for sharing this.
I'm a AI proxy product sales graduated about 3 years, but also I'm Introvert, my families, classmates, friends, boss they gave me thought that I must be a weekness man because Introvert is week and lose, poor to nothing. They don't believe I can do better than when I was a developer until I start making money from marketing.
I'm sales $700k last month that gives me more strength, I made jokes with others on WhatsApp, email and telegram, discord and web meetings. Sometimes I wish I can be a excellent talk show player without speaking. It's funny. You are right, writing is powerful too.
And Introvert is not bad, Many people are Introvert now they just not good at being seen.
By the way I sale residential proxy, especially unlimited.
This is such a relatable take on networking. I love how you reframed it from “performing” in rooms to finding the right place to speak. Writing as a medium for connection is powerful, especially for introverts, and it’s encouraging to see how authenticity, not volume, created real opportunities for you. Looking forward to the event series
Thank you Sophia☺️
This really resonated with me. The idea that networking doesn’t have to be loud or performative is such an important reframing. Writing and sharing consistently can genuinely open doors in ways people don’t expect. Thanks for putting this into words so clearly.
You’re welcome😊
Real world networking does take a lot of effort. I am more of in a fake it till you make it boat
It really does take a lot of and it is not EASY at all Ujja, and if that works for you, thats awesome
This really resonated with me.
I’ve felt the same way about networking and the circles I’ve been in over the years. It was never that I didn’t want connection — it was that I rarely found people speaking the same language. That “alien” phase you described is very real.
I even tried starting a weekly/monthly meetup at one point, billed as a computer club, but in reality it was just me trying to create exactly what you’re talking about here: a space for curious, builder-type people to talk ideas, systems, tech, and growth without the small-talk performance.
From the outside it probably looked like a lack of consistency, but the truth is I work out of town a lot. That alone makes it hard to anchor yourself to one scene or find your tribe, clique, or whatever you want to call it. When you’re constantly moving, momentum in physical spaces is hard to maintain — not for lack of interest, but logistics.
Your point about changing where you’re speaking, not who you are, really hit. Writing and online spaces have been one of the few places I’ve felt that same relief — like, “okay, these are my people.”
Appreciate you putting words to something a lot of us feel but don’t always articulate.
I agree with you Robert, glad you can relate💯😊
When you don't force yourself — that's it, that's the place!
A 100%
Couldn't agree more ... as an introvert myself, I can fully relate to the article and the journey, thanks for sharing.
You’re welcome ☺️
This really resonates. “I didn’t have to change who I was, just where I was speaking” is such a powerful takeaway.
glad it does !
Proud of you Richard, speaking at an event such as an award ceremony is a big deal, considering the amount of people that would be there. That’s so impressive !
Hear hear
Thanks for sharing