The "Alien" Phase
For a long time, I felt like an alien.
I’m naturally reserved. I’m not the loudest person in the room, and for years, I thought that was a defect. I grew up surrounded by people who didn't really get me. I found myself forcing an interest in things the "masses" liked, such as trends, generic hobbies, and surface-level conversations, just to survive social situations.
I was masking my true self to fit in, and it was exhausting. I thought, “Maybe I’m just not built for connecting with people.”
I wasn't anti-social, I just didn't have a social circle that spoke my language. I was starving for intellectual connection but looking for it in all the wrong places.
Finding My Voice on Dev.to
Then, I started writing here.
Initially, I thought Dev.to was just a place to dump code snippets. But as I began sharing my personal experiences, my learning journey, and my struggles, something shifted.
I realized I wasn't shouting into the void. I was speaking into a room full of people just like me.
Writing allowed me to express myself in a way speaking never did. It gave me the space to articulate my thoughts without being interrupted or feeling the pressure to be "cool." Suddenly, my obsession with tech, my curiosity about how things work, and my specific interests weren't "weird." They were the currency of this community.
The "ROI" of Putting Yourself Out There
Here is the crazy part: Networking doesn't always happen in a suit at a conference center. Sometimes it happens in the comment section.
Since I started consistently sharing my journey and being vulnerable about what I’m learning:
I’ve connected with amazing developers who share my niche interests.
I’ve had recruiters slide into my DMs because they liked how I explained a concept.
I’ve even landed paid freelance gigs purely because someone saw a post of mine and thought, "This person knows their stuff, and I like their vibe."
I didn't have to change who I was. I just had to change where I was speaking.
The Next Step: Stepping Into the Real World
Because this platform gave me the confidence to believe that my voice matters, I’m challenging myself to take the next step.
I am going to start attending in-person tech events.
Yes, as an introvert, the idea is terrifying. But now I know that when I walk into those rooms, I’m not walking in as an alien. I’m walking into a room full of potential readers, friends, and collaborators.
What’s Coming Next?
I want to take you along for this ride.
The DevOps Journey Series: I will continue writing my technical series on Linux and my journey to devOps (which I love writing), so stay tuned for those deep dives.
The Event Series: I will be starting a new series documenting my experiences at these in-person tech events. I’ll share what it’s actually like, how I handle the nerves, and who I meet.
You Are Not Alone!
If you are reading this and you feel like the "alien" in your circle, please know you aren't alone.
There is a massive community of people here who are interested in the exact same things you are. You don't need to force yourself to like what the masses like. You just need to find your tribe.
Start writing. Start sharing. You’ll be surprised who writes back :)
Top comments (34)
This hit close to home. I’m a reserved person by nature, and for a long time I avoided building an online presence because sharing my learning felt intimidating.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to change that and start documenting my journey into data engineering, not to be loud or to show off, but to be honest about what I’m learning and where and how I’m growing. Reading this really validates that choice.
I love the idea that you don’t need to change who you are, just where you’re speaking. Dev.to really does feel like a place where curiosity and depth are valued. Thanks for putting this into words.
I am so glad you also found the courage to share what you are learning ! Being a part of this community just makes you know you're not 'weird', and you meet a lot of people who are just like you ❤️:)
This most definitely is a great way to explain this! 💗 I have always felt like an outsider even though I get along with most people I just can't seem to get involved with what most people are doing. I'm getting old and my party days are over and my girls are out on their own so I've pretty much just been by myself for many years after I got out of treatment for a very awful addiction to fentanyl and oxy. I've just really struggled to find something I really enjoy doing. I never thought it would involve tech stuff although I used to hook up car stereos and I loved it. Anyways, thank you for the awesome post! 🌹
To come out the other side of an addiction like that is massive. It takes a kind of grit that most people don't have. You should be incredibly proud of where you’re standing right now! Glad you could also relate Mulisha, you’ll do great!!❤️
I really appreciate you saying that. I haven't heard that from many people. I think they assume it's like stopping Tylenol and it's no big deal, but it was incredibly hard and very painful physically and emotionally. I'm pretty grateful for being sane after all of it. 😂 Thank you!
exactly, you're welcome :)
The modern world made normal people go back to their own "caves" and preffer the calm there - compared to the craziness of the crowds outside.
Luckily our modern caves allow us to communicate with othere "cavemen" and to form our own virtual tribes.
Looks like you've found yours.
Welcome!
definitely found my tribe. Thanks Plamen!
Encouraging****
I've been there, feeling like I'm observing from the outside in social situations. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and share our experiences, and it sounds like you've done just that on Dev.to.
I can almost hear the exhaustion and uncertainty in your words when you talked about feeling like an alien in a world that wasn't quite yours. But your voice, your writing, your vulnerability, they're a lifeline to so many of us who've been there too. It's beautiful to see how far you've come.
Thank you Aryan, it’s warm to know there are people out there who feel like this too!
Finally, a post that puts words to exactly how I feel! I’m a beginner tinkerer and introvert who just started writing here for the same reasons.
I’m the quiet tinkerer type too. introvert, obsessed with how things work, more interested in the tech love different gadgets than surface-level trends.
I started writing on Dev.to for a similar reason. I’m a beginner, learning across different layers of tech, tearing things apart just because I’m curious and writing is the only place where that curiosity actually feels welcomed.
Can't wait to read about your experience at the in-person events as a fellow introvert
I also cannot wait to see what you’ll be writing about, Aman☺️
Thanks for sharing this.
I'm a AI proxy product sales graduated about 3 years, but also I'm Introvert, my families, classmates, friends, boss they gave me thought that I must be a weekness man because Introvert is week and lose, poor to nothing. They don't believe I can do better than when I was a developer until I start making money from marketing.
I'm sales $700k last month that gives me more strength, I made jokes with others on WhatsApp, email and telegram, discord and web meetings. Sometimes I wish I can be a excellent talk show player without speaking. It's funny. You are right, writing is powerful too.
And Introvert is not bad, Many people are Introvert now they just not good at being seen.
By the way I sale residential proxy, especially unlimited.
This is such a relatable take on networking. I love how you reframed it from “performing” in rooms to finding the right place to speak. Writing as a medium for connection is powerful, especially for introverts, and it’s encouraging to see how authenticity, not volume, created real opportunities for you. Looking forward to the event series
Thank you Sophia☺️
This really resonated with me. The idea that networking doesn’t have to be loud or performative is such an important reframing. Writing and sharing consistently can genuinely open doors in ways people don’t expect. Thanks for putting this into words so clearly.
You’re welcome😊
Real world networking does take a lot of effort. I am more of in a fake it till you make it boat
It really does take a lot of and it is not EASY at all Ujja, and if that works for you, thats awesome
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