I have had the pleasure many times over the years of running STEM workshops for different Girl Guide units in my area. Recently I found myself sitting amongst 26 Embers (aged 7-8) debriefing after a challenging activity and it struck me that we were having conversations many teams neglect.
Earlier, I had given each group of girls a set of plastic cups, and a rubber band with strings attached to it. I challenged them to work together to stack the cups in various formations using the rubber band and strings. They were told that they couldn't touch the cups with their hands, but I intentionally left the instructions vague and open to interpretation. Immediately the other adults in the room attempted to step in, thinking the girls needed more help to navigate the challenge, but I assured them that the girls would find their way on their own... and they did.
It was loud while the girls talked over each other, and quiet while the girls wrestled internally with the challenge at hand. There were exasperated sighs, grumbles of frustration, and eventually cheers of joy as they accomplished their task. Throughout it all, I kept a watchful eye and helped the girls learn to navigate their frustration.
Afterwards we all sat together talking about what worked well, and what went wrong. At first the girls wanted to focus on the physical mechanics of the task, like how to right a cup that was tipped over. One girl had put her shoes on her hands to right a fallen cup, and mentioned that her leaders had told her that was against the rules... was it? I had simply said they couldn't touch the cups with their hands. I applauded her creativity and ability to think outside the box!
I pushed the girls to think about the thing they couldn't see, the biggest tool they needed to use during the exercise - communication. What was happening when they were successful? What was happening when they weren't? It turns out that taking turns being the leader, listening to each other's ideas, and accepting that we aren't always right were important themes. Sound familiar? They talked about how to be kind even when frustrated, how they like to be talked to, and what makes them feel heard.
We all know these things are important to effective communication as a team. Nothing I've said is revolutionary. Yet I think it's easy to lose sight of these fundamental principles over time, and start to lead with our egos. Pause, take a breath, and approach each other human to human. If 7 and 8 year olds can do it, so can we! The better we understand each other and how we operate, the easier it becomes to work together as a team.
We also need to set our inner child free more often when ideating. Somewhere along the way, many of us lose the creativity that we had as children and we stop thinking critically about the boundaries enforced on us. We start to think and hear "no" before we've even asked a question - especially girls and young women. Innovation comes from pushing the boundaries of what is, and asking "what if?" instead. How would you think about the problem if you questioned its constraints or worked backwards from "yes"? What would happen if you put your shoes on your hands?
Lean into the discomfort. You'll be surprised what you might be able to learn from it.
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