Hey lovely readers,
If you have been following this series from the start, you now know how to get started with speaking, how to apply to conferences, and how to prepare once you get accepted. You might have even stood on stage already, or you might be right at the point where you are thinking about submitting your first abstract. Either way, there is a very big chance you have already felt uncomfortable at some point in this process.
Your heart rate goes up, your hands feel shaky, and your brain suddenly starts questioning every decision that led you here. Maybe that happens right before you walk on stage, or maybe it happens much earlier, when you are staring at a submit button and wondering if you should really go through with it. This post is about that feeling, not about getting rid of it or pretending it does not exist, but about understanding it and learning why it might actually be a good sign.
Even “good speakers” feel weird before a talk
One of the most comforting things I learned after getting more involved in the speaker world is how many experienced speakers still struggle with the same things beginners do. Not just the people doing their first talk, but also the ones you see on big stages at well-known conferences. The difference is not that they do not feel it, but that they no longer see it as a reason to stop.
A lot of speakers that are 1000 times better than me at speaking openly talk about how they can barely eat breakfast or lunch on the day of their talk. Their stomach is upset, adrenaline takes over, and food just does not sound appealing at all until everything is done. Others mention that they delay working on their slides or demos until the last moment, even though they care deeply about their talk, simply because their brain refuses to fully engage until there is pressure. And almost all of them will admit that they are nervous in the minutes before they walk on stage, even after years of experience.
What matters is that these are also the same people who say they love public speaking. They keep submitting abstracts, they keep traveling, and they keep going back on stage again and again. Being nervous, procrastinating a bit, or not being able to eat beforehand does not mean you are bad at this. It means your body is reacting to something that matters to you.
Discomfort is not a warning sign
A lot of us grow up learning that discomfort is something to avoid. If something feels scary, awkward, or stressful, we assume it must be wrong or unsafe, and we look for ways to back out. That reaction makes sense in many situations, but public speaking is usually not one of them.
Standing on a stage, sharing your ideas, and letting people form opinions about your work is scary by nature. Your nervous system reacts because it thinks you are about to do something important and unpredictable, not because you are in danger. Feeling uncomfortable in that moment does not mean you are unprepared or incapable. More often, it simply means you care about doing a good job.
Your body knows before your brain does
That tight feeling in your chest before walking on stage, the restless energy while waiting to be introduced, or the sudden urge to back out even though you practiced and prepared are all very common reactions. Your body is responding before your brain has time to rationalize what is happening. It is not trying to sabotage you, it is trying to keep you alert.
Your brain, on the other hand, might start listing reasons why you should not be there. Someone else is more experienced, you might forget something, or someone might ask a question you cannot answer. In reality, your body is reacting to the importance of the moment, not to the outcome. Once you start seeing discomfort as a signal instead of a problem, it becomes much easier to move forward while feeling it.
Five uncomfortable minutes can change years
Most of the truly uncomfortable parts of speaking are surprisingly short. The walk to the stage, the introduction, and the first few minutes where your voice might shake and your thoughts feel scattered are often the hardest part. After that, something usually shifts and you settle into your rhythm. That’s also why you should practice the beginning more often than the rest.
Those first minutes can feel intense, but they are nothing compared to what can come out of them. Speaking can lead to opportunities like traveling to places you might never have visited otherwise, meeting some very smart and generous people, getting invited to share knowledge you already care about, or being offered jobs and freelance work because someone saw you speak. None of those things happen without those uncomfortable moments at the start.
Confidence is not a prerequisite
One of the biggest misconceptions about public speaking is that you need to feel confident before you start. In reality, confidence is something that slowly builds because you keep showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable. You do not wait for confidence and then act, you act and let confidence catch up later.
You are allowed to be nervous, to doubt yourself, and to feel like you do not fully belong yet. You can still submit the abstract, accept the talk, and walk on stage anyway. Every time you do, you show yourself that you can survive the discomfort, and that is where confidence comes from.
Loving speaking and being nervous can exist at the same time
This is something I wish more people talked about openly. You can genuinely love public speaking and still feel nervous before every session. You can enjoy being on stage and still struggle to eat beforehand, or procrastinate on slides until the deadline is uncomfortably close.
These things do not cancel each other out. They are simply different ways your body and brain deal with adrenaline, pressure, and expectations.
A small reminder before you click submit
If you are reading this while hovering over a submit button, of a Call for Papers or wondering if you are really ready, it helps to remember that discomfort is not a stop sign. More often, it is a sign that you care about the stuff you put out to people. Feeling uncomfortable does not mean you should wait, it usually means you are growing.
Five uncomfortable minutes are a very small price to pay for the experiences, connections, and confidence that can follow. You do not need to get rid of the discomfort to move forward. You just need to decide that it is not in charge.
That is a wrap
Public speaking will probably always come with some level of discomfort, even after years of experience and many talks. If it matters to you, your body will react, and that is completely normal. Feeling uncomfortable does not mean you are failing, it means you are paying attention.
Thanks for reading! If you want to share anything or have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or reach out on my socials.
Top comments (0)